As a child, I was always brimming with energy, which some, including my father, might argue was excessive.  I had a pocket full of smiles wherever I went.  Literally.  I could not bear to see anyone unhappy, and if someone needed a mood lift, I would pull out a smile waiting to be shared. 

Then Life happened.  At some point, it happens to all of us.  A family situation.  This person.  That job.  The thing that changed our lives… (COVID!)  Sometimes all of the above.

Unforeseen events and experiences can profoundly change our trajectories.  The challenges thrown our way—like the worldwide pandemic, for instance—often divert our paths in unexpected directions.  Like the old saying, if you want to make God laugh, share your plans with Him.  I suppose I provided quite a bit of amusement over the last decade.

Momi+Ro was born when I found myself single for the first time since my teenage years.  To offer some perspective, until then, I was engaged in two long, significant relationships.  My first, with a high school sweetheart that lasted 12 years.  It was truly a fun time in life and he was my rock through some of my hardest years.  He remains one of the sweetest, funniest guys I know.  You can’t think of him without shaking your head, with a smile on your face, wishing you could hear his laugh one more time.  He cherished simplicity, wanting to own a home close to family and raise children in our hometown.  In contrast, I yearned for a vibrant, thrilling life of freedom traveling the world with my career as the primary focus.  This difference led to a heartbreaking ending to which I still carry the weight of sadness and guilt with me today.  I was too young to have the mature conversation he deserved and I know this is something we will live with forever.  He knows I still love him, I always will. 

Shortly after, I made plans to move to the city and start a new life on my own.  

The only problem - too much time before moving day accompanied with an introduction made by a friend.  After months of fighting the obvious connection, I realized a relationship was coming with me and that too ended up spanning over many years.  Our relationship, though filled with an intense connection, was not without its challenges.  We often enjoyed vacations, weekend trips and date nights filled with deep conversations and belly-aching laughter, wine bars, broadway shows, concerts, spa days... our time together was never short of a fairytale but the true meaning behind the challenges were deeper than I realized and his fear of action created too much time apart.  Eventually insecurities from the distance led to the need for control, mind games and ongoing lies that created fissures too vast to mend.  I found myself in a nightmare I couldn’t seem to free myself from, until the pandemic further strained our situation leading to our final separation in the summer of 2022.  

After heartbreak came freedom.  The problem was that I no longer knew what my future looked like. I used to close my eyes and see a life full of color, that vision didn’t look so bright anymore. I wanted to run away.  *Alexa, play "Fly Away" VOLUME UP*  This was my life and once again, I found myself stuck in the wrong movie.  It was time to forgive, forget and move on.  So that's exactly what I did…

This parting forced me to introspect.  The initial relationship was about exploring new horizons, while the latter made me search for the traits I used to love and discard new behaviors I wasn't so fond of.  Over time, I found myself acquiescing to conditions that were not truly reflective of who I am or what I wanted.  Hindsight, they say, offers the clearest vision, and in its light, I grappled with regrets from decisions I made and the complete chaos of the past eight years.

Despite the darkness, I knew I had to persevere to gain back the focus and determination I once possessed and grow into the woman I've always wanted to become.  Your past does not reflect the person you are or the future you will have - as long as you commit to doing the inner work and change the behaviors that are not serving your highest self.  Numbing my pain with a new relationship and avoiding the inner work was not going to get me there.  I wanted a better life for myself and my future partner.  So facing forward, embracing forgiveness, and committing to personal growth became my mantra.  And with that determination, I started the next chapter of my life.   XO

Meet Momi and Ro...

October 25, 2023